


Thicc

by tiedyeflag



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Paperhat - Freeform, Short Shorts, thicc flug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-01-09 16:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: During an experiment, Flug accidentally makes his legs rather thicc--I mean, thick. While he struggles with his new legs, he is constantly confused at his boss's aka boyfriend's flustered behavior.





	1. Flug gets thicc

Every fiber of Flug’s being vibrated with pride as he screwed one final screw in place to the device in his hands. It was gun shaped, but instead of a barrel of bullets was a container full of a hot, gooey substance, like a lava lamp. After he rubbed the chrome surface to a shine, he held it up. He was transfixed with the way light danced across the smooth metal surface, and he beamed with joy at his latest creation.

“Now to test it!” said Flug to himself. He strode to the opposite end of the lab, where a cage covered in a blue tarp sat. However, when Flug removed the tarp, the cage was empty, and the door open.

“What?! Ugh, I told Demencia to put those lab rats back!! Or to lock the cage door!”

Flug fell into a chair with a groan, gun lazily sitting in his hand. His other hand dragged down his face, rubber squeaking against his thick glass goggles. Meanwhile, his mind ran through his options; those rats were the last of his living test subjects, and inanimate objects would not do at all. Dear 505 was out of the question, as well as his boss. And Demencia...he’d  have to catch her first. No, find her first. Then catch.

Flug’s eyes suddenly lit up, but the light blinded his goggles in an eerie manner. Beneath his bag, he grinned.

“Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. Nyah ha ha ha…” he laughed as evilly as he could. His fingers flicked the ON button, and the gun hummed to life. After fiddling with one of the dials, he chuckled, then aimed at himself.

* * *

 

“505, I”m coming, I’m coming!” snapped Black Hat. “Now stop pulling! You’ll ruin my coat!”

The bear paid Black Hat’s protest no mind. He continued to drag the demon down the hall by the tails of his coat. If it weren’t for Black Hat’s ability to turn his head in a full circle, he’d be stumbling, but instead he walked backwards as quickly as he could.

At last, 505 released Black Hat, and sat down at his feet. Black Hat turned the rest of his body around while dusting his sleeves for imaginary dust. “Why in the  _ nine circles of hell _ have you dragged me away from my work to in front of Flug’s…” His voice softened, “...lab.”

505 nodded. He scratched the metal door with his big blue paws like a cat wanting out but with a worried expression, whimpering.

“N--Not now, 505,” came a voice from behind the door. “I can’t come out right n--now.”

“Flug?” said Black Hat. 

A squeak. “B--Black Hat s--sir? Is--Is that you?”

“No, it’s your mother.” Black Hat rolled his eyes. “Of course it’s me! How long have you been stuck in your lab?”

“Uh--Um--I--”

Black Hat pinched the bridge of his nose. “Flug, your stupid bear tore me away from my work because he’s worried over you. Presumably because you haven’t eaten, or slept, or whatever else your mortal body needs. So come out of your lab!”

“I--I can’t!”

“Why?”

“The--uh--The door’s jammed! Yeah!”

Black Hat spat. “That’s nothing to my claws~” He punctuated his sentence with his claws tearing through his velvet gloves. 505’s eyes widened as he backed away.

“W--Wait, jefecito!” cried Flug.

Black Hat paused; that endearing little nickname never failed to send the faintest flush across his cheeks.

Flug continued, “I--I lied! The door’s fine! But...I can’t come out.”

“Why?”

“I--I don’t...look so good...”

Black Hat arched his eyebrows, then let a suggestive grin spread across his face. “If it’s about my... _ love marks, _ then--”

“It’s not that, sir!”

His face fell. “Then what’s wrong?!”

Silence.

Black Hat growled, glaring at the door so intently he could melt it. Actually, he was capable of that. He could.

Yet he didn’t.

“Flug…” He sighed. “As a demon, I want to demand that you come out of your lab. As your boss, I also want to demand that you come out. But as your…” He coughed. “Boyfriend, I...I want to know what’s wrong. And...help.” A shade of blue dusted his cheeks. Meanwhile 505 gazed at Black Hat with hearts in his eyes, cooing ‘ awwww’ in bear language.

“Oh, shut it,” grumbled Black Hat.

Footsteps could be heard from the other side of the door, followed by the metallic clicks of undoing locks. The heavy lab doors creaked open, just enough for Flug’s fingers to peek through. “J--Jefecito…”

“What are you waiting for? Come out, I won’t bite.”

Those fingers clenched the door, hesitant, before they pulled the door fully ajar. As the florescent light from the lab temporary blinded 505, Black Hat’s eyes widened, and his lips parted.

The only thing different about Flug’s appearance were his legs. Instead of a pair of lanky twigs, his legs had thickness, especially his thighs. A thick padding of fat filled out his upper legs, threatening to burst through his once baggy jeans. It even filled out his hips.

Flug tugged his lab coat around himself to hide his legs. “So, um, r--remember how I was working on the muscle-enhancing gun? I--I lost my test subjects, so I decided to use--use myself. My legs, specifically.” He dug the toe of his shoe into the ground. “U--Unfortunately, it added more fat than muscle, and--and the reverse button isn’t working! So I guess this--that this means I’ll be like... _ this _ ...for a while…”

505 tilted his head, then waddled to Flug’s side, and wrapped his furry arms around Flug. He gave the man a squeeze, nuzzling the side of his head. 

“Aw, Fives, thanks buddy,” said Flug. He giggled when 505 licked the side of his bag. “Ha ha, that tickles!” Flug pried himself from 505’s paws and looked at Black Hat. He was surprised at his expression; he was staring as if in awe, and if Flug wasn’t mistaken, he was staring at Flug’s thighs, drooling. “Are--Are you okay, sir?”

“...What?”

Flug’s stomach sank. “I--I know this looks weird, but I promise I’ll restore my body--”

“Don’t!!”

“Huh?”

Black Hat grabbed Flug’s shoulders desperately. “Don’t...Don’t bother. Yes! Don’t bother making a cure! We’ll just sell the gun as it is!”

“But--But we always include a way to reverse the affects of my devices! That way we don’t get complaints of customers who can’t undo their--”

“I--It doesn’t matter!!”

Flug raised an eyebrow. “Are you...feeling okay, sir?”

Black Hat’s lips moved frantically, but made no words. Cold sweat trickled down the back of his neck and his cheeks grew hot. Finally, he released Flug and stood as stiffly as a toothpick. “Fine! But I forbid you from restoring your legs!”

“What? Why?”

“To...To test for any long term effects of the gun!”

“...Okay…?”

“Good!” Black Hat turned around and marched as quickly as he could away, hands clasped tightly behind his back. As Flug and 505 stared at him in disbelief, Black Hat’s gloves grew damp with sweat.


	2. Dem wants the booty and Moar

“...and then he suddenly left!” said Flug. He laid on Demencia’s bed, back against the mattress but legs hanging off the edge. “Isn’t that weird, or is just me?”

Demencia shrugged while combing her hair. “Eh, I’ve heard weirder, but I’ll say that fits the minimum weirdness to worry over, if that makes any sense.” 

“Do you think...he finds me ugly now?”

“What?!” She dropped her alligator shaped comb. “Flug, this is the evilest, smartest, sexiest demon we’re talking about. He’d never date you solely for your looks! I know that!”

“You...really think so?”

“Yeah! The reason he doesn’t let me in the mix is because I ‘annoy’ him.” She pouted. “Doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop trying to win his love, though!”

Flug snorted. “Let me know when you do stop. That’s when I’ll check if you have a concussion or not.”

Demencia laughed. She sat on the opposite side of the bed and began to braid her ponytail. She heard Flug flip through one of her magazines; she presumed it was one of her ‘Endangered Reptiles Monthly’ copies. One of the few magazines they both liked. She reached the end of her braid, and pulled a neon hair tie off her wrist, then wrapped it around her hair. “Hey, Flugbug,” She looked over her shoulder. “Pass me a mag--whoa…”

“Hm?” Flug looked up from the magazine. He was sitting upright now, and he straightened his back.

“Have you seen your butt?”

“W--What…?” Flug’s face fell. “Oh, so my butt looks weird now, too?”

“It looks  _ awesome, _ ” Demencia turned around, fell on her stomach, and propped her leering face on her elbows. “Seriously, I’d pay ten bucks to slap it.”

“D--Demencia!”

“Okay, twenty bucks then!” She ogled Flug’s behind, when her eyes lit up with an idea. “Hey, maybe that’s it!”

“What’s it? And no to the...slapping my butt.” Flug shifted his weight in hopes of diverting attention to his bottom. He was so used to having the flattest, skinniest ass in the mansion that he never paid any attention to it, nor did anyone else.

“Black Hat’s weirdness! I have a pretty good hunch that he’s the total opposite of mad about your new legs. He frickin’ loves them, and just wants to get his claws in that fat, juicy new butt of yours!”

Flug’s face grew hot, and his paper bag made it feel like a sauna. He debated whether or not to take it off; reveal his blushing face to the world, or sweat to death? No, dying sounded like a much better option. Put a painless end to his shame. “Y--You’re--You’re kidding, right?”

“Well, it’s a hunch. I dunno for sure; you’re the brains of the family. Buuuuut I can check his diary for you if you want.”

“Demencia, I know we’re villains, but that’s disho--wait, Black Hat keeps a diary?”

“He did last time I checked!”

“Which was…?”

She tugged at her braid. “Uh...a few of months ago? I’m sure it’s not like he’s burned it since or whatever…”

Flug fiddled with the pages of his magazine, folding out dog ears and creases. “I--er--appreciate the offer, but I’d rather not invade my boss’s privacy.”

“You mean your boyfriend’s privacy~” She giggled.

“Y--Yes.”

“Fine, do what you want. But if for some crazy reason Blackie isn’t crazy for your new bod, then that’s his problem. You’d be crazy to to not appreciate your own butt.”

“Says the girl who eats Lush products for breakfast.” Flug stood. “But thanks, Dem.” He walked towards the door. “Well, I should get back to work--”

“Wait! Wait! I’ll give you fifty bucks to slap your ass! And pictures of Black Hat’s butt! That’s my final offer!”

Flug groaned as he leaned against the door frame. “Demencia, from this point on, my butt is an off-limits zone, and that’s that.”

“Noooo!”

* * *

Black Hat demanded, “Flug, is that garbage heap of a machine ready to roll?”

“Yes, sir!” Flug said as he patted Cambot on the head. Tucked under his arm was an ornate package that held the Muscle-O-Enhancer. 

“Excellent! Now then, places everyone! Lights, camera…” He snapped his fingers. Cambot’s recording button flashed a bright green and gave a thumbs up with a free mechanical hand.

Black Hat began with a low, evil laugh that always made Flug’s skin tingle. “Salutations, inferior evil-doers! It is I, Black Hat, here to sell you the evilest and the best inventions to torture and destroy the heroes in your lives!” He gested to Flug. “Today, we have a special addition to our fine catalog…”

A spot light fell onto Flug, and as he fished the box from his arm and fiddled with the lid, Black Hat said, “The Muscle-O-Enhancer!!”

However, just as Flug opened the box, the gun clattered to the floor. Flug yelped and bent down to get it; luckily it was undamaged. But just as his fingers curled around the handle, a loud  _ rrrip!!! _ tore through the air...at the seat of his pants.

Flug dropped the gun, shot up, and slapped his hands over his bottom, blushing darkly. For the most embarrassing minute of his life, he froze, barely breathing, heart racing. Then he realized his front was facing the camera, not his back. And maybe the camera didn’t pick up the sound of his pants ripping. Or he could edit it out manually before it went up! But before he could reach for the gun to save the show, Black Hat roared, “CUT!!”

Cambot’s light flickered to a red, but Flug swore it looked as if it was snickering.

“Flug,” Black Hat growled.

“I--I’m s--sorry, sir! These are the biggest pants I own and--and you wouldn’t let me shrink my legs--” 

“Quit your babbling and give me the gun.”

“Y--Yes, sir!” Flug grabbed the gun, dusted it off, and shoved it into Black Hat’s outstretched hands.

“Now listen to me; you are going to take the day off to get some bigger pants. Understand?”

“A...A day off…?” Flug normally would have beamed--even dating, his boss rarely gave him day offs. But never so suddenly. And why the oddly flushed face?

“Yes.” He turned away. “I shall do the photoshoot alone--or perhaps I’ll drag 505 into it, if I must.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am! You showed me how it works, so I’ll be fine!” He waved his hand. “Now go!”

Flug blinked and took a hesitant step away. Why did Black Hat refuse to look at him now? Did...Did he find his new legs ugly? However, despite his thoughts, Flug ran away instead of asking Black Hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the woes of thiccness


	3. Flug gets short shorts

“Oooh, Flugie look at these!” squealed Demencia. She reached for the bottom of a shelf full of shorts and pulled up a pair of distressed denim mini shorts.

“Dem, we’re here to buy jeans, not shorts.” said Flug.

“But what if the AC breaks down again? You’d melt in your lab in your labcoat and bag!”

Flug sighed. “Okay, just...get me longer ones. Also I have no idea what my size is now so I’ll probably need a bunch of different ones.”

“You got it!” She dug through more shelves.

Flug smirked; making a mess of department store displays was truly an evil thing to do, putting the store clerks at their mercy. He pulled out his phone to idly check the time when his eyes drifted to his legs.

They were so...big. Well, their length remains constant, but they were incredibly thick. He got used to walking and running, but looking at them was still odd. They didn’t match the rest of his skinny body at all, like he was a doll with a mismatched top and bottom.

Flug sighed and put his phone away. He had to push the hoodie tied around his waist out of the way to reach his pocket. The hoodie was crucial to his outfit, they covered the tear in the seat of his pants--and walking around made it grow even bigger. He needed bigger jeans, _fast_.

* * *

 

He ran his fingers along the stacks of plus size jeans until he found the biggest one.

With a huff, Flug tugged at his fifth pair of jeans. These were the smallest, and he couldn’t even get them over his butt. All his life, he never paid his behind any mind, but now, it was an obstacle with putting on a pair of pants, every single day. A big, lumpy obstacle.

Flug sighed in defeat and kicked them to the corner of the dressing room. At least he already found a couple of jeans that fit. Just as he kneeled over to pick them up, he saw a bundle of hot pink fabric that wasn’t there earlier. And then he heard the sneaker squeaks of hasty footsteps running away. Demencia’s footsteps.

He picked up the mystery object and unfolded it. His eyes bulged out of his goggles.

Sitting in his hands were a pair of hot pink hot pants with the letters 'ARE YOU EVIL?' in neon green letters on the back.

“Oh. God.” Flug nearly dropped the shorts. They barely counted as shorts; they were shorter than his boxers! But of course Demencia would find the gaudiest, biggest, shortest pair of shorts she could find and refue to let Flug leave the store without buying them.

Well...maybe she’d let him leave if he at least tried them on. In the safety of his dressing room, too.

As quickly as he could to get over the shame, Flug slipped on the shorts. He dared to crack open his eyes, but then widened them as he saw his reflection.

The stretchy material was surprisingly comfy, and they made his legs look...good. For once, he didn’t feel numb discomfort at his thick legs. He turned around, and his eyebrows arched. He had to admit, maybe his butt didn’t look so bad after all. The shorts definitely accentuate their plush shape. And he had to admit the lettering was kinda funny, too. Fitting for a villain like himself!

Before he reached for the price tag, he heard his cell phone vibrate in his original pants. He fished it out and looked at the screen.

_“Flug did u try on those hot pants?”_ Demencia texted. _“Send me a pic. from the back ;)”_

He thumbed, _“no”_

_“fine. at least get them. i’ll pay for it.”_

_“I think i am gonna get them”_

_“gonna wear em out?”_

_“no”_

_“Aw boo. I’ll meet u outside the changing rooms”_

_“OK”_

* * *

 

When Flug and Demencia returned to the BlackHat Manor gate, they saw smoke drifting from the back, along with a horrid smell. They went back there to investigate, finding 505 fanning his maid dress at a smoking pile of what used to be the air conditioner.

“Fives, what happened?” Flug dropped his bags.

505 murmured in bear language, waving his paws in various gestures, but Flug and Demencia just stared at him blankly.

“N...Never mind,” Flug said.

“My money’s on Blackie messed around with that new whatchamacallit you invented and broke it.” Demencia poked her foot at the rubble. “Can ya’ fix it, Fluggie?”

“Of course I can. It’s only a matter of when. Between all the inventions and blueprints and commercials...It might be faster to just call a handyman.”

Demencia tapped at her phone. “I’ll look one up...Hey, didn’t the weatherman say a heatwave was gonna hit tomorrow?”

Flug cringed.

“Y’know what that means?”

“That I’ll be sleeping in my lab freezer tonight.”

“No, silly, you know what that means. Or what that means you’ll be wearing~”


	4. Hot Pants Hot Flug

Black Hat flipped through his catalogue of evil inventions as the sun shone through his window. As a demon, he could withstand more extreme temperatures than mere mortals. Still, he found himself shedding his coat and loosening his tie. He saw Demencia stick her head in the fridge freezer at breakfast, moaning pitifully. Then he saw 505 sleeping in his bed, but with all the blankets kicked out, in front of a humming warehouse fan. 

Yet...he hadn’t seen Flug since last night. Black Hat’s mind wandered as he lowered his catalogue. The previous night, Black Hat shared a brief respite with Flug in front of the fireplace of his bedroom. Flug sipped at his tea while Black Hat drank blood from a goblet. He kept his eyes glued to either the fireplace or Flug’s face, though occasionally his eyes would betray him and linger on Flug’s legs…

He shook his head. This wasn’t about Flug’s legs, this was about his extra reserved behavior back then. After months of dating, Flug had gradually relaxed and opened up to Black Hat, especially during breaks like that. So why did Flug suddenly grow quiet, kept fiddling with his cup, looking at his soft, shapely legs--

Slamming his head in the desk, Black Hat groaned. He didn’t understand his sudden fascination with Flug’s new legs, but he needed to use his super demon concentration to focus! Was Flug’s behavior hinting at something wrong? And his absence since?

Black Hat lept from his desk. It’d be much faster to merely ask the scientist directly. And the first place to look was his lab.

* * *

 

When Black Hat barged through the lab door, he was surprised to find Flug nowhere in sight. He scoured through each closet, looked under every counter, and even checked the lab walk-in freezer--but found no scientist. 

Black Hat scratched his head. If Flug wasn’t in his lab, then...maybe he was in his bedroom? Sleeping on the job? Black Hat grunted at that; there was no way he’d let Flug slack off just because of a little heat wave!

So away he went to Flug’s bedroom. The door was cracked open, and from inside it he heard the whirring of fans.  _ Aha, _ thought Black Hat. Smiling mischievously, he pressed his back against the wall and slid along it, stealthily. Grinning even wider, he peeked inside.

His jaw dropped.

Flug was indeed inside; he was lying in his bed surrounded by fans running at full speed. No paper bag sat on his head, so his caramel colored curls were free. He laid on his stomach, legs kicking in the air aimlessly as he fanned his face with a shoujo manga. But what stunned Black Hat the most was what Flug was wearing, a pair of short, hot pink shorts...or where they underwear? They were certainly short enough. They sat snugly against Flug’s bottom, accentuating the soft, voluminous shape of his cheeks. 

Black Hat stared at them for what felt like an age, gradually leaning more and more against the door, until he slipped against it and fell to the ground with an ungraceful thud.

“Ow!”

“Wha--AAH!” cried Flug.

Black Hat scrambled to his feet. While he straightened his hat, he noticed Flug had moved; now he was sitting on the bed with his lower half tucked under the covers. 

“S--Sir, what are you doing here?”

“I--I could ask you the same thing, Flug!!” Black Hat prayed Flug didn’t notice the crack in his voice. “Why aren’t you working in your lab?!”

“I--It’s so hot today, sir, so I was working, uh, here for today!”

Black Hat narrowed his eyes. “It didn’t  _ look _ like you were working.”

“I--I--” Flug shuffled beneath the sheets. “I’m sorry, Sir...It was so hot in the lab in my jeans so I...tried to work in my bedroom.”

Black Hat tilted his head.

“You can put fans in your lab.”

Flug wrung his hands around the covers. “It...It wasn’t enough…so I...came into my bedroom where no one would see--hey, wait a minute,” he looked up. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I’m looking for you!”

“No, no I mean--why didn’t you knock?!” Flug’s brows furrowed.

“I was trying to sneak up and scare you, obviously.” Black Hat crossed his arms. “If you are implying that I was  _ ogling _ your legs and behind in those  _ ridiculous _ pants then you are  _ gravely mistaken!! _ ”

With a squeak, Flug dived beneath the covers while Black Hat blushed so profusely he looked as blue as a blueberry. When Black Hat returned to his senses and noticed Flug trembling under the covers, he grew confused. Hesitantly, he sat at the foot of the bed and waited for Flug to emerge.

Eventually, Flug poked his head out. He glanced at Black Hat and stuttered, “I--I didn’t want y--you to see me wearing...th--these. Or anyone.”

“Why?”

“You saw them! They look ridiculous!” Flug sat up but carefully kept his body waist down covered. “When I went shopping for bigger jeans yesterday, Dem made me buy them. And then the AC broke just when this stupid heat wave hit! It’s too hot to wear my jeans, and...these are the only shorts I have that fit me.” Flug tugged at his bangs. “I thought if I stayed in my bedroom and kept the door mostly closed, then no one would see me.” He sighed. “Guess my plan didn’t work, though.”

“And...you think they look ridiculous?”

Flug nodded.

Black Hat looked away. “I don’t…” He coughed. “I don’t think so.”

“What?”

“I don’t think they look...ridiculous.”

“So...how do you think they look?” Flug tilted his head.

Black Hat tightened his fists. “I think...I think...Argh!!” He threw his hands into the air as he roared. After dragging his hands down his face, he growled, “You know I’m not good with human emotions, Flug.”

Flug’s face softened as he leaned closer, arms propped on his covered knees. “Is it positive, or negative?”

“I...I think both?”

Flug scrunched his face in confusion. 

Black Hat continued to growl in frustration. “I’ve been having these weird feelings since your legs got big! And I had just begun to understand and get used to  _ love, _ for satan’s sake!!” He groaned. “I...I think it’s similar to love, but...I don’t know. When I see you, and then your legs, I...just want to stare at them. And touch them. A lot.”

He looked back up to Flug. The doctor was still blushing, but the tiniest smile appeared on his face. “Wait...Are--Are you saying you’re  _ attracted _ to my legs?”

“Preposterous! How can I be attracted to a body part?”

“Er--Let me rephrase that,” Flug shifted and parted his lips to speak, but was interrupted by the door slamming wide and Demencia barging in.

“There you are, Fluggie!” She lept onto the bed between Flug and Black Hat. “I’ve been looking for you all over! Are you wearing the hot pants or what?”

“Hot pants?” repeated Black Hat.

“D--Demencia…” Flug curled into himself in embarrassment.

“C’mon, answer the question! Are you wearing them or not?” Demencia crawled up the bed and grabbed the covers. She gave them a yank, and Flug let out a shriek.

Black Hat swooped in, grabbed Demencia by the scruff of her lizard hoodie, and dragged her away.

“Owowow Blackie, that’s my hair!!” she whined. “And where are we--hey, why are we outsi--”

In the span of a second, Black Hat punted Demencia high, high, high into the air, sending her wailing and flying far, far, far away. As he brushed his hands together, he barely heard her land roughly a mile away. 

“S--Sir?”

Black Hat glanced over his shoulder to find Flug standing in the backyard doorway. His legs were in their voluminous glory. Miniscule, wandering white lines traveled along his thighs, reminding Black Hat of elegant marble. Tiny hairs covered the smooth expanse of skin like delicate peach fuzz.  Even the sun illuminated his pale, creamy thighs, almost making them glow.

Flug blushed for the umpteenth time that day, crossing his legs to hide as much of his legs as he could. He’d never received such attention before, but coming from his boyfriend gave him a cocktail of giddiness and shyness.

The spell was broken by a honking from the front of the mansion.

“Oh!” said Flug. “That must be the handyman!”


	5. Pervert Handyman Bugs Flug

Black Hat cringed when the handyman stepped out of his van. The man wore a sweaty button up shirt with faded blue fabric and ugly brown pants with oil stains all over them. His skin was sunburned and peeling, bringing out his dull grey eyes. In one hand he held a rusty tool box that clinked and jingled, and in the other was a damp washcloth that he wiped against his balding head.

“You the fella that called ‘bout the busted AC?” he said. 

“...Yes.” Black Hat leaned away; the man’s terrible breath made him want to gag. “And you are?”

“Mr. Anole. So where’s the hunk of junk?”

Turning around, Black Hat replied, “This way,” and gestured for him to follow.

When they reached the heap that was once the AC, Mr. Anole dropped his toolbox and slammed it open. As he rummaged through the box, Black Hat glared at him over his nonexistent nose and said, “I expect this AC fixed in an  _ hour, _ understand?”

“Relax, Abraham Lincoln, it’ll get done when it gets done.”

Black Hat’s face contorted in shock. He had no idea who this Abraham person was, but he knew it was an absolute  _ insult _ . Before he could shapeshift into a monster and roar at the man, out of the corner of his eye, saw Flug walk up to them. He wore his bag now, and under his arm was his own personal toolbox. 

“I--I was thinking I could help?” said Flug.

Mr. Anole stood, raising his brows, and looked at Flug. Suddenly, he whipped his cloth over his shoulder and leaned against the wall, crossing one leg in front of the other. “Well, I’m sure not going to deny help from such a nice pair o’ legs!”

Flug flinched, nearly dropping his tools. “Er...sure, sure.”

“Fine then. You two fix that blasted AC, and no slacking off!” demanded Black Hat. As he marched away however, his fists tightened as he heard the handyman speak to Flug.

“So...what time do you get off of work, sweetheart?”

* * *

 

For the rest of the afternoon, Black Hat’s mind was filled with fog. No, steam would better describe it. Boiling steam from his rage. That nickname that stupid handyman called Flug...He could not describe it as anything but degrading. How dare he call his  _ scientist _ , with a PhD and a pilot’s license, a ‘sweetheart’? And Flug was just as villainous as the rest of the crew! True, his anxiety often hindered him, but Flug always pulled his weight when needed.

Growling, Black Hat scribbled a dead, rotting Mr. Anole on his notepad. To the side he doodled Flug embracing Black Hat, who stood proudly by the mess. Black Hat smiled at his work, but it needed some blood. Just as he reached for his red fountain pen--filled with human blood instead of ink--his cellphone rang.

Yes, Black Hat, eldritch abomination, owned a cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, and held up his sleek black iPhone. He swiped at the lock screen and saw a text notification from Flug.

_ “Jefe I need your help _

_ This guy is a creeper and i don’t know what to do _

_ He’s making me uncom” _

The text stopped abruptly, as if it was sent too soon. However, Black Hat narrowed his eyes. Not like he needed any more motivation to kick the handyman off the establishment, but…

The phone vibrated again, followed by Flug’s words;

_ “He _

_ He just slapped my ass” _

Black Hat jumped from his chair and sprinted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all don't mind the short chapter, but I promise this cliffhanger will be worth it! :3


	6. Protective BH saves the thicc

When Black Hat made it outside, he was already forming a towering monstrosity. His eye glowed a merciless red, his claws as sharp as broken glass, and bulging muscles everywhere. He stomped around the house and let out an ear splitting roar.

The handyman, who was once leaning against the wall between Black Hat and Flug, yelped and jumped into Flug’s arms, who promptly dropped him. 

“J--Jefecito!” cried Flug. He dashed towards Black Hat and jumped into his chest. Inhumanly long arms embraced him, holding him tight. “Oh, thank satan you’re here.”

Black Hat gently stroked the back of Flug’s head, purring. Claws barely pierced him, clutching him like a precious treasure. He shot a glance at the pathetic, cowering handyman, and growled.

_ “Aaaaaaaah!!!” _ The handyman screamed and ran away. He scrambled over the fence, fell on his face, and continued to run, still screeching at the top of his lungs.

When he was finally far enough that his screams couldn’t be heard, Black Hat lowered Flug from his arms, and began to revert back to normal. “Are you hurt, Flug?”

“N--No, just...a little shaken,”

“But you said he slapped you!” Black Hat paused. “He slapped your bottom, so...therefore he spanked you?” He tapped his cheek in confusion.

“Uh--It’s not quite like that...but I didn’t like it,”

“But he essentially hit you, correct?”

“Yes…” Flug held his elbow. “I...It was…scary for a second there.”

“How? I’ve seen you take on countless heroes, Flug! You’re an evil scientist! Surely you could have stood up for yourself against a mere mortal!” He coughed. “Not that I...mind helping you or anything.”

Flug quirked a half smile under his bag; he secretly loved Black Hat’s protectiveness. But his lack of understanding human customs and mannerisms could be a challenge at times. Flug rubbed the toe of his shoe in the dirt as he thought. “Well...Some people find...b--big butts to be sexually attractive, and enjoy touching them. Unfortunately, some people think they can just--just touch anyone they want without permission.”

“So...that man was sexually attracted to your butt?”

“I--It appears so,”

“And decided to slap it without your permission?” Anger boiled over in Black Hat’s tone.

“Y--Yes. It’s a big problem, especially for women, but it affects everyone. And it’s one I’ve never--never had to worry about, personally.” Flug held his head. “I...I’ve never gotten this kind of attention from anyone, and now that I am, it’s weird and--and now I’m even more self conscious and--and--” He trembled as his eyes grew wet.

Black Hat pulled Flug into his chest. Flug’s arms crawled around Black Hat as Flug buried his face into the demon, smelling ash and ink.

“Flug…” murmured Black Hat. “I swear, no one will lay an unwanted finger on you ever,  _ ever _ again. Butt included.”

Flug had to snicker at that addition. He looked up from Black Hat’s chest and with big, shiny eyes, and said, “Thank you, Jefecito.”

The blue warming Black Hat’s cheeks was unmistakable, and from this angle he couldn’t even hide it with the brim of his hat. He bit his lip and averted his eyes. “You’re welcome.” He paused. “May I ask you one last question, however?”

“Of course,”

Black Hat returned eye contact. “If that filthy man liked your butt, then why would he hit it? Most mortals don’t wish to harm something that they like, correct? Why not just…caress it, or something?”

Flug’s mouth went dry. “It’s...hard to explain. It--It varies from person to person. I personally do not like spanking.” He fisted the back of Black Hat’s coat. “But…”

“But…?”

Flug leaned his forehead against Black Hat’s collar bone. “Between you and me, I...I don’t mind some...consensual... _ caressing. _ ”

Black Hat quirked a brow. “Consensual caressing, you say? Around your butt, I take it?”

“S--Sometimes,” The warmth from Flug’s cheeks seeped through Black Hat’s chest. 

Cool fingertips rubbed idle circles around Flug’s shoulders, then drifted to the small of his back. They paused and lightened their touch. Flug tensed, expecting Black Hat to shyly run his hands over his butt. Instead the hands tightened around his waist and hoisted Flug over Black Hat’s shoulder. 

“S--Sir?”

“Quiet,” Black Hat carried Flug away and towards the front of the house. “We can... _ explore _ this inside.”

Flug relaxed, but a lingering shade of pink remained on his cheeks, and his lips curled into a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter coming up soon folks. Gonna keep it fluffy tho rest assured, even with all the thicc
> 
> A big thicc thank you to all the readers for your lovely comments! I honestly started writing this as a joke, I never thought it'd be so popular! :D


	7. Dem walks in on paperhat cuddles

Demencia skipped down the sidewalk, slurping from a strawberry milkshake. After Black Hat gave her the boot, she fell straight through the roof of a fast food restaurant. The manager tried to make her at least sweep up the debris, but with a few swings of her mace, they let her go without a fuss, and with a free shake. 

She slammed open the iron gate and strolled up the walkway to the BlackHat mansion. As she approached the door, she saw a folded slip of paper taped to the door. She snatched it and read the fancy black handwriting.

_ “Demencia, _

_ If you’re reading this, then you are forbidden to enter the house until I say so. Go eat the neighbor’s petunias or something. If I catch you on the premises before you’re given permission, then I will tear out your guts. _

_ Sincerely, Black Hat” _

Demencia snickered; hadn’t he learned that telling her to not enter the mansion only made her  _ want _ to? She slipped past the door and got down on all fours. Crawling like a chameleon, she sneaked down the halls, traveling up the walls and ceiling at will. Her acute ears picked up a familiar growl, and she followed the lingering scent of ash and cologne. She skittered down a wall and stood in front of the door to Black Hat’s private quarters. Pressing her ear to the dark wooden door, she listened carefully. 

A growl, followed by a squeak, and then muffled giggling. Demencia’s eyes widened. She leaned harder against the door, but to her shock, it wasn’t even closed, and she landed flat on her face in Black Hat’s bedroom.

“Eeeek!”

“What in the--?!” 

Demencia lept to her feet, cupping her face. “Ow, my nose…Huh?” She looked up and saw Black Hat and Flug lying side by side on the bed. Flug was wearing the hot pants, and Black Hat’s claws rested on Flug’s hips.

A broad grin grew on her face as she squealed. “Oooh--”

“DEMENCIA!!” Black Hat roared while shapeshifting into a horrendous monster. “YOU INSOLENT IMBECILE!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!  _ NOW!!!” _

“Okay, okay, don’t have to shout, sheesh,” She walked towards the door but just before she closed it, she whipped around and took a picture with her cell phone. Ignoring Black Hat’s scowl, she giggled, blew a kiss, and shut the door.

Groaning, Black Hat fell flat on his back against his bed. “What am I going to do with that girl…?” He dragged his hands down his face.

“M--Maybe she didn’t get a good photo of us together?” said Flug. “If it’s not good enough, m--maybe she won’t post it to the BlackHatInc. Twitter!”

Black Hat glanced at Flug. “We have a Twitter, now?”

Flug nodded.

“Let me guess; it’s composed of low quality photos of my backside and Demencia’s selfies?”

“I--I haven’t looked at it yet, but…” Flug busied himself with fiddling with the edge of the sheets. Black Hat rolled his eyes before crossing his arms, frowning. Flug swallowed his nerves to scooch closer and whisper, “Do...Do you--you want to resume where we...left off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kay so while writing this I decided to do two more chapters. enjoy teh gay


	8. Max Gay Cuddles

“Do...Do you--you want to resume where we...left off?”

Black Hat was frozen for a minute before he registered the question. “Oh! Oh, um,” He cleared his throat. “Yes, of course.” He shifted closer, doing his best to steady his hands. Fingertips brushed against Flug’s thigh, and ever so slowly raked upwards, claws catching the snug pink fabric. He could feel the goosebumps along Flug’s flesh, making the tiny hairs arch from his skin.

Black Hat went still as his pulse quickened and his mouth watered. Thoughts whizzed through his brain that he couldn’t put into words, or even actions. He knew he wanted to do something involving Flug’s thighs, but he had no idea  _ what. _

“Sir?” said Flug.

Black Hat jerked his hand away. 

“I--I didn’t say you had to stop!” said Flug. “I was just--just getting worried. You just...went quiet and froze for a minute.”

“I...I don’t know what I want to do.” Black Hat frowned. “And I’m the great Black Hat! I know what I want and I get it! But now I don’t know!” He pinched where his nose should be. “You know my knowledge of human mating customs is...limited.”

Flug sat up. “Oh, well, n--no one was suggesting that we do, er, intercourse. We don’t have to if you don’t want to!”

“Then what do you suggest we do?”

“Um…” Averting his eyes, Flug tugged at the edge of his paper bag. “Well, we could...snuggle? Or you could…um…continue touching me?”

“Just touching would be good for you?”

Flug nodded.

“Very well…” Black Hat returned his hands to Flug’s thighs, this time rubbing his hands up and down his legs.

The skin was so soft and warm, like Flug’s cheeks. Black Hat gave Flug’s thigh a slight squeeze, amazed at how  _ nice _ the flesh felt between his fingers. So good to caress those voluminous curves and gently trace those stretch marks. When he laid his head into the crook of Flug’s neck and shut his eyes, he could fully immerse himself with the touch. And even better, he could allow himself to drown in Flug’s scent, of sweat and paper and a hint of citrus shampoo. When he pressed his ear against Flug’s chest, he could feel the vibrations of Flug’s soft moans and the pulse of his heart. Black Hat purred, a subtle smile curling his lips.

An idea popped into his mind; how would Flug’s thighs feel against his face…? Flug has mentioned in the past that kisses can take place on other places besides the lips…

Black Hat shifted lower on the bed. He barely registered Flug asking what he was doing. He rucked up Flug’s shirt and nuzzled Flug’s belly button. Face to face to the velvet skin of Flug’s stomach, the rest of the world melted away to Black Hat. 

Flug giggled, “Pfft--S--Sir, that tickles!” 

This only encouraged Black Hat to clutch at Flug’s waist and softly lap at Flug’s skin. It tasted even sweeter than his lips, and Black Hat fought the urge to sink his bear trap teeth into it. He could only imagine how delicately his teeth would pierce the skin, and let hot blood trickle into his mouth and he’d lap it up like a parched mortal in the desert. 

Black Hat lowered his chin, brushing against the top of Flug’s thighs. His almost bare thighs, with the short pants ruffled up far enough to catch a glimpse of white briefs. And Black Hat could feel the heat radiating from Flug’s skin from his quickened pulse. He pressed his nose in where Flug’s legs joined, intoxicated by Flug’s raw scent. The inner of his legs were even softer, as soft as a newborn baby. Shutting his eyes, Black Hat let out a heavy sigh, his breath puffing against Flug’s crotch. He would have drunk in the whine that slipped past Flug’s lips if he could hear it. Now, he focused on what sat in front of his face. 

Black Hat despised heaven, but mother of Satan, how else could he describe this moment as anything but  _ heavenly?  _

“B--Black Hat,”

He looked up. Flug no longer wore his bag, and from this angle, his hair framed his face, curling against his flushed cheeks. His brown eyes, as dark as ashen wood, gazed down at Black Hat, pupils so wide they made his eyes even darker. He bit his already red, swollen lip, flat teeth digging into supple skin.

Black Hat’s eyes dilated like a cat’s, and he lept up to Flug’s face, kissed him, and knocked them both down on the bed. To his delight, Flug chuckled behind the kiss. Black Hat purred as he pressed himself as closely to Flug as he could. One hand snaked under Flug’s back, while his other ever so gently groped one of Flug’s butt cheeks, adoring the give of fat under his claws.

“Flug…” whispered Black Hat.

“B--Black Hat…” Flug’s fingers crawled down Black Hat’s chest to the button of his trousers.

A shiver shot down his spine.

_ CLICK!  _

Both men flinched at the sound, followed by another and a flash of light. Black Hat looked over his shoulder. Demencia was standing right behind them, grinning and taking pictures with a bulky camera.

“Don’t mind me!” She waved her free hand. “Just keep going like I’m not here!”

Flug’s throat went dry as his blush intensified for a different reason. Meanwhile, Black Hat’s eyes went black, his pupil a slit of red. He hissed, “What. Part. Did. You.  _ Not. _ Understand?” His teeth grew longer and sharper as he slid from the bed. Claws tore through the toes of his shoes, and his voice grew lower and louder. “LEAVE THIS ROOM! RIGHT!! NOW!!!”

Demencia burst out laughing.

“WHAT?!?”

She pointed downwards. Black Hat looked down and--oh.

Oh, for the love of the devil.

His pants had fallen to his ankles, revealing a pair of red boxers covered in little crossbone prints.

“Aw, Black Hat,” said Flug. “You’re wearing the underwear I got you!”

“Ohmygod that’s adorable!!” Demencia took another picture aimed at Black Hat’s croch. “The facebook is gonna _ love _ this!”

Black Hat slapped his hands over his nethers and brought his knees together. His cheeks burned a cobalt blue and he clamped his mouth shut. He barely saw Demencia scurrying out of the room.

“Um...S--Sir?” said Flug.

Black Hat didn’t move.

“Black Hat…?”

Black Hat disintegrated into a wisp of smoke, which swiftly floated over Flug and returned to his normal form. He curled around Flug and buried his face into Flug’s shoulder, murmuring.

“Are y--you--pfft, that tickles!” 

“Mmmm,”

Flug reluctantly nudged Black Hat away. “But seriously though, are you okay?”

“Better here than strangling Demencia,”

Not the most romantic line Flug’s ever heard, but it made his heart flutter all the same. He pulled Black Hat closer and sank back into the pillows as the demon continued to caress him. 

From that day forth, Flug never, ever had skinny legs.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the mansion, Demencia sat at her cluttered desk, tapping frantically at her sticker covered laptop. Her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she concentrated, eyes reflecting the bright screen.

“Wait ‘till Blackie and Fluggie see these hits!” she said as she clicked the post button. Within seconds, her photo set titled “Paperhat Gay Ass Cuddles” reached over a thousand likes and dozens of comments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end, you buttered pop tarts. Thank you so much for all your comments!!! This was a wild ride to write and I'm glad y'all enjoyed it <3

**Author's Note:**

> I meant for this to be a oneshot, but it's getting so long I'm making it a multi chap fanfic! I'm still writing it as we speak, so I unfortunately don't have a regular updating schedule in place this time around. This is more of a fluffy/silly thing for me, so hope y'all like it ;)


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